Monday 30 June 2014

CLOWNGATE - Spookworks in controversy on the eve of Mach 1 Stages


Spookworks is in controversy again is what is being described as "Clowngate" after it emerged that an undercover Spookworks operative had successfully penetrated the Clowns lair and possibly obtained sensitive operational material related to recent performance gains by the itmymotorsport rally team.

Both legal teams refused to comment on the issue. 
The incursion only came to light when the undercover operative known only as "Keith" was exposed when he outperformed the itsmymotorsport regular driver in his own car, a Porsche Carrera, at a recent time trial.
It was in this car that exposed the treacherous undercover plot and Spookworks Operative

Suspicions were raised when bystanders noted the yellow Porsche seemed to be going significantly faster than ever seen before leading to observers to note "he is really having a go at last" and "perhaps he has grown a pair". When officials went to congratulate the driver the operative was exposed and the alarm raised.
Violated: Itsmymotorsport HQ aka the Clown's Lair
Itsmymotorsport management then checked CCTV footage and discovered that the operative "Keith" had gained unauthorised access to itsmymotorsport headquarters and accessed secret performance data.

This picture captured on CCTV proved to be the smoking gun. 
A spokesman for itsmymotorsport angrily stated " This is a disgrace and we will be pushing for maximum sanctions against these jokers. They deserve to be fired from a cannon into a large net for what they have done. We worked quite close with Spookworks in the past and this feels like a pie in the face."
Spookworks were always looking for ways to beat their rival but have they gone too far this time?
Spookworks has admitted that the situation is unfortunate but to suggest any performance material had been gained was "having a laugh". Spookworks also stated they had been working in collaboration with itsmymotorsport but the only material they had access to was frilly collars, oversized shoes and red noses. The collaboration was only suspended when a Spookworks employee was asked to smell a flower where upon they were squirted with a unidentified fluid.
News of the incident was briefed to the highest levels.
The relationship between the 2 teams soured late last year when Spookworks accused itsmymotorsport of deliberately trying to shortcut a chicane under the cover of darkness at an event in Northamptonshire.

Regrettably the incident has meant that any secret performance advantage has been compromised and as a result the car is now for sale. If you want the bargain of a lifetime for a quick car see:

Tuesday 17 June 2014

Spookworks confirm entry on Mach 1 Stages

Spookworks have confirmed their entry on the upcoming Mach 1 Stages. The event, held over 2 days will be held at the Machrihanish Airbase in Kintyre, Argyll and will take place on the 5th & 6th July 2014.

As this will be the first ever running of this event, Spookworks are hoping the level playing field will help Spookworks overcome a recent run of bad luck. A Spookworks spokesman said:

"This is the first time for everyone so no one has an advantage of knowing the stages. We are hoping this will level out the competition and reduce the immediate impact of superior performance. The event organisers are doing a great job and it looks like a cracking event. As its being held on an airbase we are hoping the air mindedness of our team will help us get a good result."

The airbase is in a remote location and has a colourful history. Not least the extraordinary amount of conspiracy theories including underground cities, hypersonic flights and other super duper top secret activities. Spookworks would neither deny or confirm any involvement with the airfield prior to the rally.

For more info see:
Flat and fast.  No sign of any UFOs though...

The event consists of 8 stages and 62 miles on 100% sealed tarmac and the base has one of the longest runways in Europe at 3km long. With a a maximum entry of 120 and currently showing no less than 24 entries in Class 5 Spookworks have once again got their work cut out for them in 2014.

Spookworks tried hard on Round 1 of the RAF Rally Championship but the opposition was ferocious and sadly proved to be too much on the day.