Wednesday 15 May 2013

Spookworks - Battle Damage Assessment - London Rally for Heroes.

Nearly a month has gone by since Spookworks great result at the London Rally of Heroes and only now after the car has been in quarantine for a month, has it been safe to conduct some form of battle damage assessment, effect repairs and prepare the car for the next event.

Ahh the glory days....

Before quarantine, the car rolled off the transporter with symptoms like major electric issues and the most dramatic rattling/grinding sound coming from inside the left rear brake disc. The Spookworks Critical Care Unit (CCU) door was released and the Spookworks recovery crew gingerly entered the quarantine chamber to start surveying the damage.

After a month in quarantine the Spookworks Recovery crew prepare to enter the chamber
 to  begin  a post event battle damage assessment.

The Spookworks Subaru was sitting patiently in the middle of the sterile chamber. Nothing looked to out of place to start off with.  Tyres all inflated, panels all straight, looked like a Subaru....

The car was jacked up and the sump guard removed.  This is when the first clue was uncovered.  One of the sump plug bolts looked like it had just done 9 rounds with a cheese grater.

Parmesan anyone?
Worse was yet to come, as after removing the sump guard the reason for the electrical issues became immediately clear....the wiring loom that runs past the back of the radiator had come loose and ventured too close to the exhaust manifold and lets just say the whole thing looked like a scene from Aliens.

Seriously this could be a backdrop from Aliens...even the rad bleed plug melted.
Stay frosty people.....

This is how close it got to the exhaust manifold -  thats gonna be hotter than  Alex Jones sitting  on a beach in a bikini!
To rectify, the next step will be to cut all the debris away, check the wiring, re-cover, re-secure and get some serious heat protection on there. Thinking a DEI heat sleeve?

Now came the moment of truth.

The car was jacked up and after clearing the area of all non essential personnel the wheel was removed as carefully as a archaeologist carefully uncovering a previously undiscovered dinosaur fossil.  The disc seemed intact.  All clear. The team moved onto Stage 2.

The Spookworks technicians finally identify the rear brake caliper.

Not too bad, the only initial casualty seems to be the missing "U" off the Subaru  caliper sticker. 

The disc was carefully examined and ever so gently and delicately lifted off the hub with precision by several slams from a large ball hammer. The carnage underneath was what no one expected.  2 of the Spookworks boffins passed out at the sight of the damage and one had to be resuscitated at the scene. 

Thankfully, this lucky Spookworks Technician made a full recovery after a short rest. 
The removal of the disc resulted in a number of metal parts instantly falling to the floor and a large metallic dust cloud.

The Spookworks Crew had to wait for the dust cloud to settle before assessing the brake damage.
When the dust settled a pile of debris that looked like molten mettle from a steelworks was all that remained of our once powerful and perfect handbrake mechanism.
After the dust cloud - The initial signs were not encouraging.
The remaining mechanism simply slumped to the floor like a slain dragon.  It actually took a while for the Spookworks Technicians to forensically identify the pieces.  Sadly, with the remains of the left handbrake mechanism looking like next years Turner Prize winner it was time to simply admit defeat and gently remove the entire mechanism and throw it on the scrapheap.  Nothing was salvageable and a complete new mechanism would be required including the back plate.

And the 2014 Turner Prize goes to......

Err this is what it should look like......

And this is what it actually looks like....

So after all was said and done the car was gently wheeled into the Spookworks Development centre where the restoration and repair will soon begin in earnest.  We hope to bring you the details so we can show you the good news recovery "feel good" story before our next event.  First things first though.  Time for an awkward conversation with the Spookworks Financial Manager.....

The amount of damaged parts from the rally were really beginning to add up.